oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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