Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Randomize
