guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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