just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
