Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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