Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
