She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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