Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
