He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
