I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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