woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have fence marks all over my body
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize