i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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