Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we made out on top of his cat.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
