i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
