To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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