so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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