Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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