he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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