Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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