She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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