Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
