You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
