Your dad touched me again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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