If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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