if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
