Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize