it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
