Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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