I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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