I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
