Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There are leaves in my underwear?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
