If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
