I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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