She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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