If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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