Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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