Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
