I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Boobs speak an international language.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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