The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
