We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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