We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
