Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
