dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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