OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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