last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Mom said you looked used
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
