that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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