i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
