The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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