nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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