we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
