Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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