You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize