i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
