talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
