Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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