the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
