Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
