well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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