oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
