Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
