It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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