I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
