nut hugger
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
