At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
