Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize