I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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