She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
